IDA MAE
Old Mr. Lally used to say if you’re always losing your keys, you’re afraid of your own front door. I laughed it off then, but standing here waiting for Jesse to come back from the locks, I realize I can’t remember where my key is… Again.
Mam says, “Don’t worry girl it’s a good job. What’s a few months gone, when it means meat on the table twice a week?” I noticed though, I only lose my keys when Jesse’s home.
Lizzie and I, we keep a quiet room, nothing fancy. A small stove, a table, a couple rocking chairs, and a bed, that’s all we really need. Jesse says no wife of his will be working, he’s more than able to support his family, so we sit, a lot. I really hope Lizzie doesn’t get fussy this time. Last time Jesse was home, he said her crying was enough to make his head bust, but I think it’s all the drink.
I see the barge docking, only another minute or two and the riverbanks will be bustling with workers unloading, and the crew tying off before their week at home. It’s hard work, it is. A rough crew, but it’s honest work. We might live simple but we’ve enough to eat and a little to set aside, that’s more than I can say for my sisters. If only Jessie wasn’t always so angry
Jessie’s mam says he was such a happy little boy, our Lizzie is like that too, she says, but when Jesse came home from France, Mam says he wasn’t the same anymore. The war changed everyone. He never talks about it, but at night he screams, his thrashing makes me sit in the rocking chair with Lizzie sleeping on my shoulder. Her sweet sighs and even breathing are so different from his tormented moans and mad twitching. Even in his sleep, he is angry.
I see Jesse’s head over all the others, he’s standing on a metal box waiting for the crew to finish up. From a distance I can see the tightness in his shoulders, the strong lines of his body, as if every muscle is tensed and ready to spring at something just outside his line of vision. Lizzie wiggles in my arms, at nearly a year, she’s a healthy little scrap and made it through the first year without a scare. It’s blessed, we are.
I look up from Lizzie’s trusting stare and see Jesse striding down the length of the barge, I’m pinned in place by his gaze. Is he happy to see us? I never know. As he leaps from the barge to the dock, I begin to smile a little, he is so good to look at! But I still can’t remember where I put that key!
Voices 